Too often I’ve heard the following statement, or some version of it, “I know he wants a promotion, but he’s doing such a great job where he is I need him to stay in that role.”
Many managers just don’t want to believe this, but when a person wants a promotion or transfer (and that person is qualified) you don’t get to keep him in that role. Your real choice is between promoting him and losing him from the company.
If you’re currently doing this to someone, ask yourself this question, “If X were taken out of that role tomorrow (for whatever reason) would we throw up our hands and declare we can no longer function as a department?” Of course not. You and your team would figure it out. This demonstrates that if you were sufficiently motivated you could function without him. The employee knows this. He knows that if you cared enough about him you could give him that transfer or promotion.
Perhaps this has happened (or is happening) to you. How did it feel? Did you feel like you were being punished for great performance? What did it do for your morale and engagement?
You might say, “Right now I really don’t have a viable replacement for him.” Okay, that’s a common situation. But instead of merely allowing the situation to continue, make a plan. Show this person the light at the end of the tunnel. Show him that you are willing to deal with the inconvenience (to you!) associated with allowing him to move on in his career.
Be aware that other employees are paying close attention to your actions. Whatever you choose to do, you’re sending the message that this is the kind of support they’ll get when they’re ready to move on.
If you hold people back, high potential people will avoid your team. If you earn a reputation for helping people grow and progress in their careers, you’ll attract more high potential people.
As always, thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your perspective on this topic.
Larry Sternberg
Leadership Laboratory 
Instead of thinking about how difficult it might be to lose a great team member in the short term, think about how influential you become by promoting up the person in the long term. What does it tell the rest of the organization about you as a leader, when they encounter this great performer that you mentored and promoted? To me, this is one of the fundamental differences between managers and leaders. Leaders know that the organization will never reach its potential unless the people within it do, and they understand that this is one of their primary roles. Plus, you get to go out and find another awesome person to fill their former position. That’s exciting! Is it disruptive in the short term? Sure, but that’s a healthy form of disruption that is caused by growth and needs to be embraced.
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Well said! I wholeheartedly agree.
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