Why Do You Want Online Coaching Tools?

I’m an enthusiastic proponent of online learning functionalities that make it easier for people to expand their knowledge. In addition to online learning, I’ve noticed an increasing interest in online, automated coaching tools. I’m not sure where the conceptual line is between teaching and coaching, but I hope we can agree that coaching goes beyond teaching to focus on improving actual performance.

I’m wondering why people want online coaching tools. I don’t have any research on this, but here’s my speculation. People want these tools because, A) they don’t want to take time to coach their people, B) their supervisor doesn’t want to take the time to coach them, or C) the supervisor in question is simply not a good coach.

There are plenty of leaders who would say, “Larry, it’s not that I don’t want to coach my people, I simply don’t have the time.” I say that’s a cop out. I know we’re all busy. But as busy as we are we all have discretionary time. We all make choices about how we spend our time. I know it doesn’t feel like that. But it’s true.

The best leaders love helping their people grow. The best leaders find coaching and mentoring to be among their most important and intrinsically rewarding activities. The best leaders make time for this.

It’s my hope for you that you report to someone who takes a personal interest in your growth and development, who finds you worthy of his or her time.

It’s my hope for the people who report to you that you choose to invest time to actively coach and mentor them.

Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome your thoughts.

Larry Sternberg

How Do You Motivate People After A Big Loss?

Almost everyone I know is enjoying the annual college basketball tournament known as March Madness. As usual there have been several surprising upsets where the favored team lost. Athletic competitions are pregnant with possibilities of brilliant performance. That’s why we watch. The anticipation. The suspense. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

In business, every day is game day. Every day presents us with the gift of possibility. But no matter how talented, even the best occasionally lose. One of my associates asked, “How do you motivate people after a big loss?” This is an important question for any leader. As usual, I don’t believe there is a single answer to this question. However, I do have some thoughts.

First, we have to understand that for top performers losing hurts. It hurts emotionally. It hurts physically as well. The agony is painfully real. A great leader honors this reality and tolerates some anger, tears or other forms of negative behavior. Don’t encourage people to be good losers. As fabled coach Vince Lombardi said, “Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.”

Next, pay attention to the self-talk. “I’m no good at this” is a very different statement than, “I had a really bad day.” Take a no tolerance attitude toward the former. That kind of self-talk undermines confidence. If you say that often enough you begin to believe it. When you begin to believe it, you’re done. You’re already defeated.

Next, help people understand the vital importance of resilience. We’re becoming increasingly aware of the relationship between resilience and great accomplishment. Let’s assume you’ve established lofty and meaningful goals with your team. You’ve suffered a setback, a loss of some sort. Okay, it hurts. Did you think this would be easy? Did you think there would not be obstacles, difficulties or setbacks? Okay, you got knocked down. It sucks. Are you going to get back up or not? Those really are your only two choices.

As a leader you must have this sort of attitude. You must display it with authentic emotion. You must select team members who have this sort of resilience. And then, when necessary, demand it. Demonstrate your unequivocal belief in your people. Refuse to accept defeat.

Tomorrow is game day. Are you going to let yesterday’s setback cause another defeat today? The words of my father ring in my ears. “Shake it off, boy.”

Thanks, Dad.

And thanks to my associate Kara Bunde-Dunn for suggesting this topic.

I’m sure there is much more to be said about this. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Larry Sternberg

More On The Pygmalion Effect

This is a follow up to the post entitled, “Are You Leveraging The Pygmalion Effect?” I found some additional information about the research on this topic, and I want to share what I learned.

Briefly, research on the Pygmalion Effect proves that a leader’s expectations have a measurable effect on the performance and self-efficacy of the followers. Click the link above to learn more.

Here’s what I just added to my understanding of this phenomenon. The Pygmalion Effect is not merely about the leader’s sincere belief in the potential of the employee. An additional and crucially important element is the leader’s confidence in his or her capability as a coach.

For the Pygmalion Effect to rear its beautiful head, the leader must have no doubt about his or her ability to help this person grow. This confidence is conveyed to the employee in a thousand ways and thereby augments the employee’s confidence that the desired performance improvements will be achieved.

Thus, there is mutuality of belief. The leader not only believes in the potential of the employee, but also the employee believes in the coaching and mentoring talent of the leader. When this high level of mutual belief is achieved, it generates a high level of trust. Consequently, when the leader makes coaching suggestions, the employee is more likely to implement them with complete commitment, which augments the efficacy of the coaching suggestions.

So it’s not enough to believe sincerely in the potential of the employee. You must also believe in yourself.

As always, thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Larry Sternberg

How Do You Respond To Suggestions?

“We tried that before. It didn’t work.”

“Where else is this being done?”

Those are just a couple of the most common responses to employee suggestions. Do responses of that sort encourage more suggestions? Do they contribute to learning? The answers are, “No” and “No.”

When an employee makes a suggestion, that’s a strong indication she’s thinking! She’s bringing her brain to work. Given the relentless rate of change in the world today, no organization can afford to have employees at any level who merely do what they’re told. We all need people who bring their brain to work.

When someone makes a suggestion, that moment is almost certainly an opportunity for learning, both for the employee AND for the leader. DON’T WASTE IT!!

Even if you have tried it before, the circumstances are probably different today. The person making the suggestion might well have a twist that makes the idea more likely to succeed.

Is your initial reaction to search for flaws? Instead of giving an unsupportive, knee-jerk response, why not give a supportive knee-jerk response? Here’s an example: “Thanks for thinking about ways we can improve. Let’s get together to discuss it. I’d like to understand more about how you think this will make us better.” If you don’t have time now, get out your calendar and make an appointment.

All ideas, all strategies have drawbacks and benefits. The process of discussing and otherwise evaluating a suggestion will allow those possible consequences to emerge through discovery. That’s why learning occurs.

Equally important, the process conveys that you view the person as worthy of your time. By engaging authentically in this evaluation process, no matter what the outcome you are encouraging more ideas, not only from that employee, but also from others (because the people you lead are paying close attention).

One final point. Among other things, leaders are people who have ideas for improvement. Could the employee who frequently brings you ideas for improvement be a future leader?

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your responses.

Larry Sternberg

Do You Know How to Spot Potential?

The very best leaders are excellent developers of people. They receive a great deal of intrinsic satisfaction from helping others explore their potential. The first step in this process is to identify areas in which a person truly has the potential for excellence. These are areas in which the person has both a natural ability (aptitude, talent) and a natural affinity for the endeavor.

Think about parenting for a moment. Wise parents involve their children in many different activities. Why? They’re looking for activities their child just seems to enjoy.

If a person (adult or child) naturally enjoys a certain activity, he or she will want to do more of it. As that person does more of that activity, you’ll discover whether they have the aptitude to perform with excellence.

So how do you spot this kind of potential? Look for:

Yearning

For reasons that need not be explained, the person wants to try some activity. They think it just looks fun and interesting. It calls to them. Who cares why? This desire often occurs as a result of watching someone else do it with excellence. When you notice this yearning find a way to give them a taste.

Flashes of Brilliance

You see instances of extraordinary performance — sometimes just flashes — that are not due to luck. The first one might well look like luck, but if you see something that looks like beginners luck — PAY ATTENTION!! Don’t blithely attribute it to luck. Be curious. Get the person more involved in this activity to see if more flashes of brilliance occur.

Rapid Learning and Progress

This activity just seems to come naturally to them. Learning is fun and easy. Progress is more rapid (sometimes much more rapid) than average. The person is convinced that they will achieve greater levels of performance if they work at it. Often, the person knows, “I can do this!”

Joy

The person just loves doing this activity. It resonates with something inside. They gain positive energy from it and look forward to their next opportunity to do it.

When you see these signs of potential invest the time and effort to explore it.

When people are growing morale improves, engagement improves, retention improves. When people are growing the overall value they add to your organization increases. When people are growing all stakeholders benefit.

As always, thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your comments.

Larry Sternberg

What Can We Learn About Leadership From The Olympics?

NBC decided to do a very nice piece on the 1996 women’s Olympic gymnastics team known as the  Magnificent Seven. They interviewed team members, now in their adulthood, eliciting reflections about the team finals, juxtaposing those reflections with video footage of the historic event.

The Vault was the final event of the competition, and Kerri Strug was the final competitor for the US. The team believed their chances for gold hinged on her performance. She injured her ankle on her first Vault, and everyone who watched remembers her courageous performance on the second Vault, which earned high points and caused severe injury in the process.

Ms. Strug remembers her coach, the legendary Bella Karolyi, telling her, “YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT!” She makes it clear that Karolyi’s passionate belief in her was an indispensable factor in her decision to proceed with the second Vault despite her injury. In fact, not only did Karolyi believe she could do it, according to Strug, he insisted on it.

Great leaders often see potential that others have not noticed. The leader calls it out, names it, and thus gives it life. When this is done correctly, it resonates with something in the person’s heart. The person wants to live up to the leader’s expectations, doesn’t want to let the leader down.

The great leader demands that people do what’s necessary to actualize their potential, which includes hard work and extra effort — sometimes extraordinary effort. In discussing the 2008 Olympics, Micheal Phelps remembers telling his coach he was drained of energy after winning gold in six events. Phelps says his coach replied, “Suck it up. You have two events to go.” Like Karolyi, he demanded perseverance.

Here are just a few of many leadership lessons we can take from the Olympics:

1. Be alert to recognize each person’s potential.
2. Call it out. Name it. Give it life.
3. Demand extra effort to realize that potential.
4. Express sincere, passionate and unequivocal belief in the person (or team).
5. Demand perseverance in the face of adversity.

Whether or not your team wins gold, remember these words from Teddy Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome your comments.

Larry Sternberg

Who’s On Your Life’s Board of Directors?

This post will be merely interesting if you don’t act on these suggestions. It will be immensely rewarding if you do.

Think about the people whose influence helped you become who you are today, people who have made a significant, positive and lasting difference in your life.

Now take a few moments and make a list of their names. No matter your age, the list is not long. Just take a few moments and write their names.

Chances are you haven’t thought about some of these people in a while. Some might have passed away.

Visualize each person, one-by-one.

Think about what each one did that influenced you in such a powerful, lasting way.

Now, answer this question: Do they know what a huge difference they made in your life? I submit that unless you have told them, they do not know.

Here comes the immensely rewarding part: tell them. Tell them in person, or tell them in a hand-written letter. Tell them openly, sincerely, authentically from your heart.

If you’re visualizing actually doing this, you might be uncomfortable or even apprehensive. That’s normal. This sort of profoundly personal, emotional disclosure is rare in our society. Do it anyway. Do it before you lose the opportunity.

I promise. Those of you who do this will find it enormously gratifying. For each person you tell, it will be the most meaningful gift that person has received in a very long time.

I’d love to hear accounts from those who try this.

Larry Sternberg

Are You Sitting on Good People?

Too often I’ve heard the following statement, or some version of it, “I know he wants a promotion, but he’s doing such a great job where he is I need him to stay in that role.”

Many managers just don’t want to believe this, but when a person wants a promotion or transfer (and that person is qualified) you don’t get to keep him in that role. Your real choice is between promoting him and losing him from the company. 

If you’re currently doing this to someone, ask yourself this question, “If X were taken out of that role tomorrow (for whatever reason) would we throw up our hands and declare we can no longer function as a department?” Of course not. You and your team would figure it out. This demonstrates that if you were sufficiently motivated you could function without him. The employee knows this. He knows that if you cared enough about him you could give him that transfer or promotion.

Perhaps this has happened (or is happening) to you. How did it feel? Did you feel like you were being punished for great performance? What did it do for your morale and engagement?

You might say, “Right now I really don’t have a viable replacement for him.” Okay, that’s a common situation. But instead of merely allowing the situation to continue, make a plan.  Show this person the light at the end of the tunnel. Show him that you are willing to deal with the inconvenience (to you!) associated with allowing him to move on in his career.

Be aware that other employees are paying close attention to your actions. Whatever  you choose to do, you’re sending the message that this is the kind of support they’ll get when they’re ready to move on.

If you hold people back, high potential people will avoid your team. If you earn a reputation for helping people grow and progress in their careers, you’ll attract more high potential people.

As always, thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your perspective on this topic.

Larry Sternberg

What would happen if you Quit Asking People to Change?

In many organizations development strategies are remedial, identifying areas of deficiency on which an individual needs to work in order to improve. Furthermore, in the vast majority of cases, the individual actively solicits such input and strives to be receptive to this constructive criticism.

This approach pays dividends when the deficiencies involve lack of knowledge or refinement of technique. But too often we ask people to change persistent patterns of thoughts, feelings and behavior that are deeply ingrained.

Here are  a few examples that might sound familiar:

• Don’t be so sensitive.
• You need to be more organized.
• You need to be more detail-oriented.
• You don’t demonstrate a sense of urgency.
• You’re late to meetings all the time. This has to change.

I’m confident you can add to this list based on your most recent performance evaluation.

My favorite example involves the book, “In Search of Excellence” by Tom Peters and Robert H. Waterman, Jr. They observed that in high performing companies, managers and executives engaged in a practice they dubbed, “management by walking around”. Upon reading the book, in sincere efforts to improve their effectiveness many managers adopted this practice. Unfortunately, many of those managers didn’t enjoy this practice, nor were they good at it. In many cases, they made things worse! And then, of course. they invested more time and effort working on getting better at management by walking around. Then they reverted to staying in their offices where they added the most value.

People routinely invest an immense amount of time and effort trying to change these types of deeply ingrained patterns, and rarely are the results worth the effort. Unfortunately, however, a huge amount of productive time is wasted. Those who advocate for changing themselves and others tend to drastically underestimate the amount of effort involved and overestimate the improvement likely to be achieved.

I propose a radically different approach: Accept people as they are; quit trying to change them.

We tend to think about diversity as it applies to groups of people. I’m advocating that we embrace each person individually, accepting their flaws along with their strengths. This is the ultimate celebration of diversity — person by person.

What will happen if you accept people as they are and quit trying to change them?

First, you’ll be able to re-direct a great deal of productive time into activities much more likely to produce lasting value.

Second, you’ll transform your relationships. As a result, you’ll have more influence with people, and you’ll make a more significant positive difference in their lives.

This is a decision you can make today. You can be among the few people who spend more time focusing on what’s right with others rather than what’s wrong with them.

When you do this, you’ll transform your life. Overnight.

Don’t take my word for it. You’re in the laboratory every day. Do an experiment. Give this a try. What have you got to lose? Stress? Frustration? Wasted time?

If you try this, I’d love to hear your results.

Thanks for reading and thanks even more for sharing your perspective.

Larry Sternberg

Are You Getting Too Close to Your Employees?

Having discussed this topic with a few thousand managers over the last few decades, I can assure you that this is a controversial topic. How close should a leader get to employees? Where should you draw the line?

Here’s a commonly held, and frequently taught, point of view: Don’t get too close. Keep your distance for the following reasons:

• Familiarity breeds contempt. If you get too close, employees will lose respect for you.
• You might have to discipline some of these people, and if you’re too close your relationship will interfere. Close relationships will cloud your judgment. Employees might take advantage of you.
• You could be accused of favoritism if you develop close relationships with some employees but not others.

Those risks are real. However, the benefits of cultivating close relationships with employees far outweigh the drawbacks. Let’s consider the drawbacks mentioned above.

• Familiarity breeds contempt. This catchy phrase is repeated so often people accept it as true. It has a ring to it, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it is patently false. If it were true, the people closest to you — friends and family — would hold you in contempt! Stop repeating this and stop letting it guide your actions with employees.
• You might have to discipline some of these people and close relationships will interfere. Yes, close relationships make it unpleasant to discipline others. But think of parents who have good, healthy relationships with their children. Those close relationships don’t prevent discipline, even when it is unpleasant. You are in 100% control of whether you allow a relationship to prevent you from doing your job as a leader. If people lose respect for you it’s not due to a relationship, it’s because you are not doing your job.
• You could be accused of favoritism. Here’s a reality check. If you have several employees reporting to you now, you already have favorites no matter where you draw the line on relationships. If you think your people haven’t noticed, you’re mistaken. You have better chemistry with some people than you do with others. You’re human. People don’t have a problem with this. As I said above, they have a problem when you don’t do your job.

Let’s now consider the benefits of developing close relationships (I include true friendship here) with employees.

• Influence

As a leader you must influence others to pursue goals and behave in ways that benefit the organization and the employees. Trust is a monumentally important factor in influencing others. If you are a person of good character, getting close to employees builds trust. The closer you are to any particular person, the easier it is to influence them.

• Motivation

People with whom you have close relationships will go the extra mile for you. Think about your closest friends. What you do for them just because they asked? What would they do for you? When a leader has close relationships with employees, they will put forth extra effort when she asks.

• Mutual support and teamwork

Close relationships hold people together during difficult times. They want to be there for each other. They don’t want to let each other down. When relationships are good, it’s easier to resolve problems.

• Morale

Morale is better when people look forward to working with their friends. Better morale contributes to better business results.

• Retention

People in close, positive relationships truly care about each other. Leaders who truly care about their people earn their loyalty and improve retention.

Developing close relationships, whether personal or professional, involves risk. You can get hurt. One can completely avoid those risks by avoiding close relationships. I believe that in both personal and professional lives, the risks are well worth the benefits.

When it comes to relationships with employees, you will draw the line wherever you want. BUT you don’t have to draw one at all.

Thanks for reading. I welcome your views.

Larry Sternberg